What is Neurodivergence?

If you haven’t heard the term, it is a catchall for learning and developmental disabilities. Our different wiring causes us to act and think differently from those termed neurotypical. These differences are confusing to observers because the world neither understands nor was made for it. For example, we may go off on tangents because we think we relate to you and what you are telling us. However, that annoys most people or overwhelms them. In the end, it makes us look awkward when our goal was just to relate to the person.

People are sharing experiences and that is good.

People are taking to social media to tell their stories and give advice. This is where I learned about the symptoms of ADHD. I follow s Dr. Kimberly Douglass, a coach for neurodivergent people on Tiktok. The videos are advertisements for her services. They include personal reflections by her and others as well as pop culture comparisons. The founders of Soulcap, a bathing cap brand banned from competitive swimming, recently have ADHD. On their site’s blog, they highlight neurodivergence in aquatics. In one post, they talk about swimming’s benefits for neurodivergent. I linked to one of the posts about ADHD in black men in England, where the company is based.

Conditions can overlap.

Most people don’t know the hyperactivity disorder can involve hyperfocus. A significant part of ADHD is executive dysfunction, problems with the planning and organization parts of the brain. This is why we seem unfocused and disorganized, especially in our thinking. We don’t think long-term because we cannot go that far.
Since executive dysfunction is a significant part of both, ADHD is often confused with the learning disability Non-Verbal Learning Disorder(NVLD). Some say NVLD can lead to ADHD. However, NVLD involves more than just executive dysfunction. NVLD sufferers are also much better with rote and language-related learning than deep high-order thinking and analysis. The name refers to the fact that most of the deficits are unrelated to language. Some of its traits are also present in autism. My mom suspected that I had autism at first.

Finally gaining clarity

After reading about NVLD, I suspect that I have it. It explains many of my experiences, like learning to read early but having trouble analyzing literature. It explains why I can remember and process Spanish very fast, but not anything else. It explains why advanced math and even some basic math at first were indecipherable to me. Because of my math difficulties, I thought I just had a math-related disability at first. It may also be why I am bad at ball sports because lack of coordination is another symptom.

Between two worlds

My mom always said I was in between the able-minded and disabled world. There are days when I am keenly aware of this. Sometimes it is hard to discern my limitations until I bump up against them like a brick wall. I call it the high-functioning curse. At least for the lower functioning, these limitations are more evident to observers. I got out of special ed classes but never really overcame these limitations. Since I never perceived them, I never understood the root of my problems.

Professional Challenges

I think I lost a significant advantage, especially professionally, without a definite diagnosis. If I knew earlier, I probably could have gotten more targeted help besides the many therapies I received. It might have helped me pick a suitable career and course of study from the beginning. In I could have gotten the support I needed to accomplish it. Instead, I wasted time going from one thing to another.

Most jobs require multitasking and the ability to work quickly. For any brain, multitasking is impossible. However, for a neurodivergent brain, switching between tasks at once guarantees mistakes. Time management and prioritization are almost impossible without help because of our executive dysfunction. We will crack under too much pressure, especially with the frustration intolerance. Not picking up on social cues and rejection sensitivity could cause misunderstanding with colleagues and managers. It has for me in personal interactions. Deeply analytical jobs are also out of the question because of executive dysfunction. Forget quota work. No matter how fast I have tried to go, I could not make a quota.

Instead, we need a quiet, relaxed environment that allows us to focus on things at a time. Ironically, this enables our hyperfocus to shine. I find that when I can concentrate on one thing, my attention to detail increases. Unfortunately, the jobs that do require this are usually menial and slowly disappearing.

I learned to bless my broken road

Watching my friends succeed while I was struggling used to frustrate me. Then I realized they did not have the same struggles and I have done pretty well considering. I learned to I have to work within my limitations instead of hiding them. I Masking seems comfortable at first, but it takes a lot of energy to keep the façade up. There is also a lot of fear when you let it slip because of the perceived social awkwardness. It is has gotten me into trouble before. I would prefer to be rejected for the real me, no matter how much it hurts. With more awareness, I hope there is more empathy and understanding. The phrase” bring your whole self ” should have a broader application.

@nahmcam

Respect where you have been on the way to where you want to go #neurodivergent #wisdom @drkimberlydouglass

♬ Respect – Aretha Franklin

Related

ADHD in Afro British men: Neurodiverse Excellence: Black Men with ADHD Building Their Own Rules | SOUL CAP

NVLD information Non-Verbal Learning Disability | The NVLD Project | Non-Verbal Learning Disability

Kimberly Douglass TikTok page drkimberlydouglass (@drkimberlydouglass) TikTok | Watch drkimberlydouglass’s Newest TikTok Videos

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6 thoughts on “Neurodivergent challenges in a Neurotypical World

  1. Hey This us soo empowering. 1 The world is made for you and me, so I saw your 1st paragraph where you said feels like the world is not meant for people like you, but you add so much colour I the world starting with this post. Then 2 I found the thing about you can’t see long term as interesting. Let’s say for working professions, are there exercises to help people with the disability? Great post and thanks for sharing.

    1. That’s true. I like to know more about their story. However, if you read further I said that probably missed out on that kind of help but being undiagnosed.

    2. Dr Kimberly Douglass, who I mentioned and linked to at the end provides those types of services.

    3. The nuerotypical world doesn’t understand nueroatypical behavior is what I meant with that.

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